I think this is one question that every one of us will inevitably ask ourselves during our course of study, which is, “What am I doing here?”
Self-doubt is something that we struggle with. While it is common to see many self-doubt viral thread postings on Facebook, we’re often reluctant to talk about it personally. In an Asian society like ours, admitting self-doubt will most likely be written-off as a sign of weakness. Self-doubt is one of those things that will either cripple or make you stronger emotionally.
I mean, it’s super easy to say “suck it up” or “you’ll do better tomorrow”, especially when it pertains to something as universal as education. However, the struggle that comes with it makes it so challenging.
I believe that as young people, more often than not, it’s really easy to feel like you don’t know where you’re going or what you’re doing (if only there was a Waze for life), do you feel me? I’m sure we all feel that way! Adolescence, the little limbo period where you feel like you’re neither a child nor an adult is often a confusing time for us. We’re supposed to experiment within safe limits, seek adventure and live while we’re young (pardon the cliché). Of course, this is easier said than done when it involves something as important as money and a deeply rooted need to self-validate.
I’ve been lucky to have been blessed with many opportunities at IACT and I’m honoured that they think I’m worthy enough to even be writing this in the first place (thanks, guys), but there’s always going to be this tiny voice in my head that is always going to tell me that I’m not. For the most of us, we aren’t graceful when faced with stress, whether it be mental or physical and as much as I don’t like admitting it, I’m in the same boat!
I’ve asked myself many times these questions:
- Am I deserving of this scholarship?
- Am I doing my absolute best in class?
- Is this course suitable for me in the first place?
And all I can come out with is… I honestly don’t know…
I don’t. I really don’t. I don’t know where I’m going. I don’t know what I’m doing. And I’m here to tell you that it is OKAY. I know that we’re supposed to inspire you, and it’s probably kinda hard to believe this advice especially when it coming from a total stranger. But if you’re a student out there who is feeling more than just a little lost, just know that you’re not alone and that things will always get better as long as you keep on trying.
I mean, after all, you can’t spell the word ‘impossible’ without forming ‘possible’. Maybe it’s time we start embracing the beauty in that.